Tempus fugit.
It seems like it was just yesterday I arrived in this chaotic inferno. I realized that I have just spent eight months of my life, away from my good friends, away from my brothers, my sister, my mom…and most of all my little Nikki.
What surprises me is that I am still able to remember vaguely some of the last few days I spent with them before I left…and it haunts me. Was it a wrong decision to come here? What would my life be like if I had not left?
I must admit that I somewhat regret leaving home. Trying not to think and dream about Tacloban is so difficult. I just wish home was just a few hours away. If airplanes weren’t too damn expensive, I would go home every weekend.
Every second spent here feels like a waste of my life. Although I am more productive because I have work here and goals to reach, I wish I was wasting my life being unproductive…a bum…carefree…but at home.
Work sucks. But being worthless is much worse. In times of my rare fifteen-minute work break, I find it a waste of time to go up and down the elevator just to indulge on burnt tobacco…so I sit back and close my eyes. As I open them up again, I can see the clear blue sky adjacent to the greenish-blue waters of the Cancabato bay. A strong breeze of cool sea air blowing against my face, my hair gently disheveled by the wind. I can hear the sound of the small waves splashing against the protective sea wall…the sound of wind tunneling into my ears…the faint giggles and laughter of children playing nearby. A perfect afternoon standing over a getty along the Magsaysay boulevard. All my senses are alive…the sense of feeling at home again.
I closed my eyes again so I can try to capture every detail of it in my thoughts…and steadily open them up again…
It is cold, dull and sad… back at the office.
I want to go home.
But it isn’t time yet.
A sacrifice I have to bear.
{ Currently listening to: } satie
{ I am reading: } The Five people you meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
{ I Feel: } homesick
Written by domz at 11:51 PM.